Unit 6

The loving kindness meditation was simple, just a few phrases repeated over and over for 10 minutes.  The only thing difficult about it was the choice of words, they don’t flow off the tongue and I stumbled over them, so I changed it up a little bit and used words that fit together better. I don’t think it would have a great impact on the outcome.  I used to do something similar to this every morning when I woke up, but then life took over and I became so busy and distracted with everything that I have to accomplish in a day that I just stopped taking those few minutes every morning to send love out into the world.  I miss doing that.  I used to do a thankful meditation as well.  I miss doing that too.  This type of exercise is more my speed than a guided meditation.

At this point in my life, I would honestly have to say that I am in need of interpersonal work, I did some soul searching over the past few days and when I look at my close relationships, they are all dysfunctional.  Over the years, I have given up myself to cater to others, my kids, my husband, my friends, whom ever put demands on me; and now I don’t know who I am.  When I find something I enjoy, no one else wants to participate with me to spend time with me, but yet I am expected to do things with others, things they enjoy, so that I can spend time with them.  I’m not sure if that makes sense, let me see if I can put it more simply, if I want to spend time with my kids I have to do what they want to do, what they find enjoyable because they don’t want to do what I enjoy, and if I say I don’t really want to do “that” then it is taken to mean that I don’t want to spend time with them, or if I say “I have yoga class” it is taken as yoga is more important to me than they are….and hurt feelings follow (and this is not just my imagination, last summer I did 9 weeks of Les Mills Combat every night and my kids confided in me a few months later that they felt that I didn't want to have anything to do with them and didn't want them around...keep in mind that doing a session of combat is only 30-45 minutes out of a whole evening).  With my boyfriend, if I don’t want to do what he wants to do, that’s ok, I just don’t get time with him, and likewise, he has no problem with me doing my own thing, which is good, but then weeks go by and we spend little to no time together and we start drifting apart because he won’t join me to spend time with me, and I just want a little bit of time to do something I enjoy. 

Then the resentment sets in, I find myself feeling bitter because I have to be the one, in all my relationships that must compromise, give up doing what I enjoy just so I can spend time with the people I love, because there’s not enough time in my day to do what I want to do, and what everyone else wants to do, and my homework, and my housework; there just isn’t time, so I am the one who makes the sacrifice (can you hear the bitterness).  I didn’t even know those feelings were there, or rather, refused to acknowledge them, they flare up every so often but I stuff them back down, I just wanted everyone around me to be happy, and in my mind, that is what a mom does, gives up who she is to take care of those she loves. 

I don’t know how to start fixing this.

Unit 5

Again, my frustrations are the same - I have a very difficult time listening to a guided meditation practice.  I would much rather get the instructions and put them into practice on my own terms.   Although I have to say the recording wasn’t as annoying this time.  I do try to find moments of peace throughout my day, even if it’s a few minutes in my car after work before I hit the road, I do know that this is important for my mental/emotional/spiritual health. 

Although these programs are good, I don’t think that it is a “one size fits all” program; every person is different and needs different things to help them calm their mind and find peace in a hectic world.  My connection is yoga, although I do try to find a bit of time each day, I’m not always successful, but when I go to yoga class, I am guaranteed 90 minutes of no chatter in my head and that time is priceless.  Since I started my yoga practice, I have definitely noticed a difference in how I process the stressful things that happed throughout my day, my outlook is much more positive, and when it does sink, it doesn’t stay down for long.

Thanks for reading :-)

Unit 4

As with guided imagery, I have a difficult time staying focused while listening to guided meditation.  I can relax much better when I am simply listening to nature sounds such as ocean waves, a thunderstorm, a stream, birds, etc. I do this at night sometimes when I can’t seem to relax; but when a person’s voice is placed over these sounds, it blows my concentration and focus.  This process works for some people, so I can’t say I would or wouldn’t recommend it to others, I just know that it doesn’t work for me.  I do know that exercising the mind, practicing kindness and compassion can change the thought process and change our attitudes. These types of changes require practice because sadly, for most of us, it isn’t a natural mindset.  We have been raised to be negative, judgmental, and perhaps even cynical.  I have several things I do to foster my psychological health, I have affirmations posted around my living space to remind me to make healthy choices, I try to keep a journal, (but this is usually only when I am in a negative frame of mind, it is sort of a purge, once I get the thoughts out on “paper” they tend to dissipate), and I continually remind myself to be thankful for all the blessings in my life.  One thing that helps me to become centered and find peace is practicing yoga, it requires so much focus, so much concentration on what I am doing at that moment, I am forced to give up the thoughts that crowd my head during the day, for others it may be running, or working out in other ways, but physical exercise (or even physical work) that require focus and determination helps still the mind for many people.

My life and my psychological health are a work in progress, which I believe is true for everyone, we don’t reach a point where we can stop practicing, because there are always things in life working against our peacefulness.

Unit 3

So the instructions weren't clear as to the formatting instructions for our blogs, so I am just going to answer each question in a row.

1.        Based on your reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing), where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?

A.    My physical wellbeing I would rate as a7ish.  I consider myself a work in progress and because of very specific physical issues with my spine and right leg, I tend to have setbacks and frustrations, but I keep pushing forward, eventually I’ll get to 10.

B.   My spiritual wellbeing I would rate as a high 9.  I know what I believe and I am not discouraged by people who tell me I am wrong, that being said, I am also not so close minded that I can't consider alternative ideas.  I am at peace with my spiritual beliefs.

C.   My psychological wellbeing depends on the day, most days I’m an 8 or a 9, but sometimes I can slip down to a 4 or 5, especially when I’m having physical issues that discourage me and make me feel old.

2.        Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).

My current and ongoing goal for my physical wellbeing is to continue working on my physical fitness and nutrition; eating healthy and getting ample exercise is important to me not only for my own personal health but to continue to participate in the activities I enjoy like hiking.  My goal for spiritual and psychological wellbeing are generally the same, reading, studying, expanding my knowledge and continuing to participate in activities with friends and family that bring me joy and help me foster inner peace and love. One thing that my boyfriend and I are trying to do is travel a bit, not far because of the expense, but to new places where we can have completely new experiences. I think it's important to try to do something that you've never done, or something that scares you at least once per month, and it doesn't even have to be something big it could be something as simple as trying raw oysters (which are gross, but at least I can have that opinion because I've tried them).  I have always tried to live by this and I have always told my kids (and this is with activities and food): how can you possibly know what you do or don't like if you've never tried it?  Coming up this summer:  Tree-top obstacle course!  Can't wait!  Am I scared?  Heck yes, it's a rope and zip-line course 60 feet in the air!  But I'm excited too!  This spring I did the Warrior Dash, a 3.2 mile obstacle course/mud run, and believe me, I had my doubts about some of the obstacles, and I was tore up for a week after, but I did it and it was fun, and I'll probably do it again next year.

3.        What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?

I am already constantly moving toward each goal.  In my life, physical health and happiness come first and I work toward these things each day.  I am not successful every day, but life can be messy sometimes and if I have a bad day, I dust myself off and start the next day fresh.  I have affirmations posted around my personal space to remind myself not to take life so seriously, that I am beautiful inside and out, and that I am dedicated to my goals, and most especially, that happiness is a choice.

4.        Complete the relaxation exercise The Crime of the Century.  Describe your experience. (What it beneficial? Frustrating? etc.)

I did not like the relaxation exercise.  I have never done well with things like this, guided imagery or audio relaxation soundtracks.  I enjoy soft music behind the sound of a rainstorm or the ocean, but when there are voices, I tend to focus on the voice and it soon becomes annoying, the pitch, the way words are pronounced, whatever the case, I don’t like it and it makes me agitated rather than relaxed.  In this particular recording, they voice was unappealing to me, I can't explain, it was just annoying and whiney.  Another thing that happens is when I sit down to TRY and relax, I get fidgety and itchy, the more I try to ignore the urge to itch or fidget, the worse it gets.  My best relaxation comes at the end of the day, after I've had a good stretch, when I'm comfortable in bed, I tense up all my muscles one by one and then relax them all at once.

 

Thanks for reading!

Andie